Chapter 1

Monday, April 6, 9:52 a.m.
“I want to give my baby away.” The words nearly tripped over each other in their rush to leave her mouth.
Dr. Callahan’s eyes widened, then she quickly recovered her poker face. “How much thought have you given this?”
“I don’t know.” Danette squirmed in her chair. This was why she was in the psychiatrist’s office, to verbalize some of the horrible things she’d been feeling. “I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, but without really admitting to myself that’s what I want. I’m overwhelmed and depressed all the time. I don’t think I love this baby as much as someone else would.”
Dr. Callahan scribbled something on a pad, then asked, “Are you talking about giving him up for adoption?”
“Micah’s grandmother would love to raise him.”
Her shrink looked at the clock. “We’re past our time, and I have another patient waiting.” She leaned forward and handed Danette a slip of paper. “This is a prescription for Lexapro. Start on it right away. I don’t think the Paxil is working for you. Please don’t do anything rash until we’ve had a chance to talk some more. You’ll be back on Thursday, correct?”
Danette nodded. Thursday was her regular day, but she had called Dr. Callahan last night, crying and begging to see her today because her life felt out of control and she no longer trusted herself with little Micah. Luckily, there had been a cancellation for this morning.
Danette bolted from the office, feeling ashamed. What was wrong with her that she didn’t want her own baby? Dr. Callahan clearly disapproved. Danette pulled the hood of her sweatshirt up, wishing she could hide her face as well. She pounded down the stairs and hurried out of the building. Maybe she should leave Micah with Kera until she worked through this. The baby would be better off. Maybe she could take off and clear her head for while. As Danette crossed the small parking lot, she pulled on sunglasses without really noticing the morning sun and bright blue sky. She glanced briefly at the beat-up cargo van parked next to her Toyota. It hadn’t been there when she arrived.
As Danette turned the key in her car door, she heard the van door slide open.