Criminals Have to Eat Too

On one of my mystery listservs, participants shared their local “stupid-criminal” stories, which I love! These made me laugh out loud, so I thought I would share.

“A man was arrested this past week in U. City (a St.Louis suburb) during a burglary. While stealing the home’s stuff, the guy found a pound of bacon, which apparently he just could not resist. When the homeowner came home, she found the robber standing in the kitchen frying her bacon. She and a friend restrained the guy until the police came. Several pieces of jewelry and other valuables from the home were found in his possession.”

I know how much people love their bacon, but seriously, couldn’t he wait until he got home? Or perhaps he was homeless and needed to use her stove.

This next one is an actual police report:
“The victim says following the robbery Wednesday afternoon, the gunman sat down next to him, and they had a meal together at the Taco Bell, 1920 S. Park St. The robber was possibly dining on the victim’s dime. That’s because minutes earlier the 18-year old Beaver Dam man had given up his money after having a handgun pointed at him outside of the restaurant. He says it all started while he was eating a 5-layer burrito inside the Taco Bell. There was a rap on the window, and the soon-to-be robber was motioning the victim to come outside. When he went out to see what was going on, the other man asked for gas money. When the victim declined to give him cash, he says the robber pulled out a handgun.

At that point, the Beaver Dam man obliged. He then went back into the restaurant to finish his food. The robber also came in, ordered a meal, and sat down next to the victim. The victim said they sat together for about 10 minutes, with the man who robbed him talking about going to Chicago to visit his grandmother. Eventually both left the restaurant. The victim called his mother, and she told him to call the MPD. He got in a squad car and drove around several neighborhoods with an officer, but the robber could not be found.”

I guess in some neighborhoods they just don’t take being robbed at gunpoint too seriously. Of course, as a writer of “realistic” crime fiction, I could never use anything like this because readers would find it too ridiculous.

Do you have a stupid-criminal story to share? If so, please do!

 

1 Comment
  1. Two teenagers came into the Lambertville Library to steal the fish tank pump. After looking at the security cameras several times, one of them held a wastebasket up against the one focused on the fish tank. When he put it down again the pump was gone from the fish tank. The two can be seen leaving the room.
    Everybody knows their faces. I’m sorely tempted to put them on YouTube.

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