Today I am 50.
If you only knew how hard that was to say. I’ve struggled to get my brain around this number for weeks now. I thought for a while if I never actually said it out loud, no one would know, and I could keep up the illusion that I was still in my late forties, which sounds so much nicer. But’s that crap. It’s just a number. So to be true to my nature (the queen of too much information), I decided to go the other direction and make an actual announcement.
All the wonderful birthday wishes that have been pouring in from online friends and family have really helped. Thank you for those.
I keep thinking of my sister, Kerry, who died two months after turning 48. And my two sisters-in-law, Arlene and Rose, who died at 39 and 54. I have no right to lament this birthday. I am alive! And healthy! If that weren’t enough, I’m also in a great place in my life right now.
So I’ve decided to embrace 50 for what it is—a gift. Going forward, I hope I have the good sense to express gratitude every day for this simple gift of life.